WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GENERAL MOTORS’ USED CAR PROGRAM –HOW IT WAS BORN - A MODERN CAR GUY FABLE
Once upon a time there was a bunch of executive morons who really disliked and disdained their dealers because they were so superior and so much smarter than the dumb-ass dealers. Especially the little vertically-challenged Brit with the Napoleon complex, he was the smartest and most arrogant of them all.
What happened is pure and simple. General Motors sold all of the fleet and rental cars to the fleet and rental companies TOO CHEAP... now remember, they have to buy them back at an agreed amount. They also set lease residuals too high.
Woo-hoo we sold a lot of cars they laughed and danced and patted themselves on the back… party-on Garth. Look at these sales figures, we’re friggin’ geniuses.
BUT then! The time arrived for them to have to take back these fleet and rental cars. So they sent these over-priced puppies to the auction and ended up bringing most of them back unsold cause they were way-y-y-y-y-yyy too high in them. Oh no! we’re losing our corporate ass on these cars now.
OKAY, said the head guys and gals at Renaissance Center as they scratched themselves at both ends. What do we do now?
Then somebody said... "Hey, let's screw over the dealers and make the dealers eat it." They all applauded. Brilliant idea, it’s worked so many times in the past.
Somebody else said... "Hey we also have this failed bullshit Shop-Click and Drive program that has been a real cluster since day one... Let's make the consumers and the dealers use our bullshit Shop, Click, and Die Program to justify the millions we wasted on this dumb-ass idea...
Hell, it's so stupid; we've even got Toyota trying it now. They even followed us down the toilet with the Saturn Idea with Scion.
Okay they all agreed, we’ll tell the dealers it’s customer-driven and use a lot of customer friendly buzzwords that we know are bullshit to cover up the fact we’re shoving our losses down our loyal dealers’ throats, justifying our stupid ass Shop, Click and Drive and stealing yet another profit center. We are so friggin’ brilliant… okay Bonuses for all of us!
The End!
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