Understanding the “F” Word

Is it bad to fail? No! (Fail is the “F” word to which I was referring.  Get your mind out of the gutter) can any good come from failure?  Yes! Dare to fail! Then learn from it.  You can’t wait for a perfect set of circumstances.  Perfect scenarios never come.  There will always be roadblocks, obstacles and unfavorable conditions. Who cares?  The time to do it is now.  Don’t wait, hesitate or look for reasons to second-guess yourself.  Think about anything you’ve done in your life.  Whether it’s sports, business or personal.  To accomplish anything worthwhile you have to risk failure.  Even something as trivial as using chopsticks poses a risk of failure.  The truth is you will never learn to use them until you ask your server to remove your fork from the table.  You’ll be forced to face failure.  How many gutter-balls does someone have to throw before they start throwing strikes consistently?  In skiing they say if you’re not falling, you’re not trying.  Some people like to say, "Failure is NOT an option."  It is certainly not the sought after option, but if there is no opportunity for failure, where's the risk in what you are doing?

       How many slices and hooks did it take for Tiger Woods to get where he is today?  Michael Jordan said- “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  “I can accept failure everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.”  How do we remember Michael Jordan’s career?  If we look objectively we say “successful”.  We don’t think of the misses and the losses.  Thomas Edison had 10,000 failed experiments before successfully inventing the electric light bulb.  

     When you try to overcome an objection and you don’t get passed it, the next time you hear it do you just give up?  You try a close one time and it doesn’t work.  Do you never use it again?  No.  You change your delivery of it or practice it till it’s polished.  The absolute best salespeople out there close about 30% of their opportunities.  That’s 7 failures for 3 successes.  And, truth be told, even in those 3 sales out of 10 opportunities there were probably some small failures.  We leave “money on the table”, we short cut and skip steps.  

The biggest hindrance to success is the fear of failure.

Picture this:  A veteran salesperson is sitting on the point next to an eager, ambitious green-pea.  The first car pulls on the lot.  The veteran stops the green-pea.  “Stay put kid.  I think that’s a service customer.”  The new hire stays put.  “Oh, thanks for saving my time.”  The next vehicle pulls on the lot; it’s a late model full size SUV.  The kid starts towards it.  “Sit down kid.”  The wily veteran tells him.  “Do you know how buried those people are?  That thing’s too new.  You’ll be wasting your time with them.”  The youngster shrugs his shoulders and sits back down.  “OK.  If you say so.”  Not long after, a customer pulls up and gets out to look at a car.  The green pea springs up, “He’s mine!”  He declares running for the door.  The old car dog just laughs.  “Are you talking about that guy?”  He points to the customer on the lot.  “Look at how he’s dressed!  If a guy can’t afford clothes do you think he can afford a car?!”  Sheepishly the younger sales rep says, “No, I guess not.”  Back to his chair he goes.  The two watch the customer on the lot look for assistance, get back in his vehicle and drive away.  Yet another opportunity arrives.  As the younger peddler begins to rise out of his chair he looks to his mentor for approval.  The veteran simply sticks out his bottom lip and shakes his head “no”. “ You don’t ever want to deal with those people.  They are the worst when it comes to negotiating.  You’ll spend hours with them and usually get nothing for it, your best-case scenario is a mini for a 5-hour marathon”.  Time and again the car dog told the kid why he couldn’t sell people cars.  “They all have bad credit.”  “He’s just a kid, probably here in his mom’s car.”  “I’ve dealt with her type before, believe me, you don’t want the hassle.”  “Those people are all the same.  They’ll take up your whole day and never buy anything from you.”  In all, 10 opportunities come and go.  When the manager comes by later in the shift and asks how it’s going.  The two say in unison, “It’s been dead.”  I think it’s safe to say that it’s time for someone to put that old-car-dog down.  Well, OK maybe just get him a blue vest and let him be a greeter at a local department store.  What makes the veteran that way?  Fear.  Fear of wasting his time some may say, but the truth is it is fear of failure.  He doesn’t want to not close a deal so he takes all of his negative experiences and lets them control his life.  He didn’t learn anything from his experiences because now he avoids any possibility of a “no-close”.  He waits for a perfect scenario.  How often do those come along?  It’s like saying you’re going to wait till your ready to get married, have kids or even go for a promotion.  You’ll never be completely ready!  Just go!

     Fear of failure prevents people from friendships or romantic relationships; it holds people back in their careers; it leaves people at the end of their lives full of regret.  What if I… 

Woulda’, shoulda’, coulda’.

     As Sean Wolfington recently pointed out There really are only 2 types of true failures as the proverb goes:  those who thought and never did or those who did and never thought.  If you never do, you are a true failure.  And if you never learn from your mistakes and failings, you are a true failure.

In the words of Robert F. Kennedy “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

Go, dare to fail and learn from your mistakes.  You’ll be a huge success.

Copyright © 2008

Brad Alexander

"The Paint Won't Lick Itself:  Simple Truths for Selling Cars"