(Appears on the Car Chat 24 blog. But I wrote it. Promise! :)  )

I remember many a training class with one of the best automotive trainers I’ve ever encountered. While every one else moaned and groaned about going to a training class instead of being able to make calls (read: surf the internet), I was excited to learn new things.

Because of this love for training, I’ve picked up some incredible skills along the way. I’m not too humbled to say that I know a lot about effective communication. But I realize that all of these tips that I’ve picked up have been from other brilliant minds.

One such skill I’ve learned is how to Match and Mirror your client. (Note: client and customer can be used interchangeably. I prefer calling them clients. More on that later.

Matching and Mirroring your client means simply that you mimic their tone, body stance, and overall means of communication. By doing this, you are laying the groundwork for a mutually trusting relationship that as essential for any sale to take place. Would you allow someone with really bad teeth be your dentist? Would you buy skin cream from someone with very bad skin? It’s the same idea, and this method will work on 99% of everyone. This is because the skill is nearly undetectable. Customers don’t know you’re trying to imitate or create a character who they’d trust. For all they know, this is who you are!

Before you start to believe this is misleading, it truly isn’t. It’s you being able to adjust to different people. Different people respond to different things and honoring this is they key to success. Being an equal opportunity communicator will get you extremely far.

If your client walks in and has a quiet demeanor and doesn’t talk a lot, try to avoid asking too many questions until they open up. Allow them to walk the lot. Don’t think they’re a lost cause because they don’t ask tons of vehicle related questions. After a few minutes, try to make the first move by asking something unrelated to the car purchase. “Do you have a co-signer” is NOT a good question to ask.

“Are you originally from the area?”


“Have you tried that Mandarin Restaurant across the street? Just had lunch, it was great!”

They may seem silly, but someone who thinks that you only are interested in their money will catch on very quickly. You cannot push someone into a sale.

Try to find something that you both have in common as a “bounce back” point. If you’re from the same area, enjoy the same restaurants, or like the same sports team, it’s a safe zone to chat about if you feel you might be losing control or interest of the client.

Like  anything else, this comes with limits and exceptions.

If someone comes into your dealership with a defensive demeanor, don’t mirror that, but don’t be overly giving in kindness either. By that, I mean that you can be sharp and witty. Don’t act like a scolded puppy, but don’t be Captain Cocky either. Find a balance and diffuse their need to be in control.

Dealing with clients in any niche is all about communication. And since we all communicate differently, one must be willing to adjust and be flexible in their communications methods. More importantly, be aware enough of the client as someone more than a dollar sign so that you can form the connection necessary to earn their trust.

Communication is key.