HERE YE, HERE YE

Let it be known on the first day of January in the year of our Lord, Two-Thousand Eleven that Douglas R. Manley, Imperial Potentate of Dealerland, Author of DUH!, Procurer of Knowledge, Protector of Dealer Treasures, Custodian of Truth, Defender of Profit, Eternal Optimist, Perpetual Instructor, Destroyer of Gloom, Criticizer of Political Correctness, Slayer of Dumb and Wizard of Smarts

DOES HEREBY DECREE TO ALL IN THE KINGDOM OF DEALERLAND:

Humans seeking to purchase goods and services shall be known as a customer

The phrase “It’s not my job” is forbidden

Mr. Beatumup shall attend a six week anger management course

Vendor kickbacks are prohibited

The Document Fee shall not exceed $100.00

Demos shall be eliminated

Holdback shall be eliminated

Humans employed in the Kingdom of Dealerland shall be known as an employee

Tick People shall be confined to Ticking

Productive employee’s salaries shall be eliminated

Proverbial Rocks scattered throughout Dealerland shall be pulverized

The Shop Supply Fee for an oil change shall not exceed $1.00

Prep and Advertising Fee addendum stickers are prohibited

Bonused employees shall be paid on department gross less selling expense

Car allowance shall be paid in lieu of a demo

“Let’s Swap Dollars” with units in the used vehicle inventory is prohibited

Productive department expense shall not exceed 50% of department gross

Humans selling new or used vehicles shall be known as a salesperson

Referencing Corporate Documents as Organic Documents shall be banned

Productive employee’s salaries shall be replaced with draws

The term “Pre-Owned Vehicle” shall be banned

Service Absorption calculation shall be abolished

4 cylinders, stick shift, purple trucks with orange stripes is prohibited

Salesperson commission shall be calculated from cost

Info@, Service@, and Sales@ are banned from websites

Photos, names, titles, e-mail address and phone number shall be on dealer’s website

Automated phone answering messages, push 1 for sales, push 2 for service, is banned

The Shop Supply Fee shall not exceed $10.00

Humans providing advice to a service customer shall be known as a service advisor

The Pack shall be eliminated

Contracts shall be sent to the corporate attorney before dealer signature

Salespersons and bonused employees shall be paid no later than 48 hours after the close of the month’s business

Total dealership advertising shall not exceed 12% of dealership gross profit

40% of total dealership advertising shall be budgeted for fixed operations

Miscellaneous Income shall be distributed as gross to the appropriate department

Monthly manager meetings will include “ALL” department mangers and be held within 48 hours after the close of the month’s business

This decree is open for discourse in the Great Hall in the principality of DealerElite

IT IS WRITTEN