In the future, Dogs will work car deals.

For years, the dog has been man’s best friend. He’s got a lot of things going for him; one of the best things is his dog nose. The dog’s nose is some 50,000 times more powerful than our human noses, and has some amazing powers.

Our dogs sniff out bombs, buried earthquake survivors, skiers buried in avalanches, drugs being smuggled. Dogs have a world of smells open to them so complex; our human minds can’t even imagine the things they can perceive.

The dog nose is so sensitive, it can sniff your hand, and tell you everywhere you have ever been, and everything you have ever had to eat. If he sniffs your face, he can tell every person you have ever met, and what you think about them. Even more, not only can dogs smell into the past, but they can smell the future as well.

They can sniff where you are going for dinner tonight, and even what time you are likely to go to bed.

How is this possible? It’s because of the size of the dog’s olfactory reservoir. This organ is a virtual Labyrinth. Literally millions of scenarios and solutions. The nose of a dog is so complex as to rival even today’s most sophisticated computers, and logic predictors. Inside of every dog’s nose is a universe of complex questions and solutions. It’s like this: In a Universe of infinite size, all things are possible. Your dog’s nose has almost limitless space and places. Within his nose, all things are possible.

You may be asking now, what does this have to do with the car business? Well, I’ll tell you.

1)Trade evaluation: Our dealership dog is walked around every trade in. He sniffs every nook and cranny. He smells things like fender benders, head ons, oil changes, and even the last time you ran out of gas.

2)Hidden within the scents of a trade is not only its original value, but every occurrence that devalues that car is available with but a single sniff. Every close call, even every red light ran. In the trunk is every grocery store purchase ever carried home.

3)You may not be aware of it, but while your dog is laying there in front of the T.V. while you watch the news, he is without interruption listening to every report. Rover is quite up to date on not only automotive market trends, but the latest innovations in today’s car market.

Within your dog’s nose…Imagine a maze the size of (if you will) the Universe. Within your dog’s nose, all things are possible. Everything that can happen will, and everything that has happened did. In a space so large, ALL things are possible! Your dog-within his nose-has the ability to “Fold Space." Travel between incredibly distant places takes but a moment.

Your dog-all dogs for that matter-has the ability to sniff the solution to any question. Any question.

Your dog can:

Bid trades
Figure payments
Select the right car for the customer
Determine interest rates
Estimate MPG’s
Tell when the customer is lying
Tell when the salesman is lying

So, here is the long and short of all this. Get a dealership dog. Everybody likes dogs, and it can only promote good friendly business. Add to that, the advantages I have outlined above, and you’ll have a winning addition to your staff. Better yet, this sales staff member will be willing to work for far less than even your lot boy.

7 members like this

Comment

You need to be a member of DealerELITE.net to add comments!

Join DealerELITE.net

Comment by Sally Whitesell on June 3, 2013 at 11:24pm: This is hilarious! I think dogs are way smarter than we are...I mean who goes out to work while the other one naps, plays and eats? What we can learn from our best friends!

Comment by David Ruggles on May 14, 2013 at 3:59am: http://autosandeconomics.blogspot.com/2013/05/transparency.html

Comment by Jeffrey Seyler on May 13, 2013 at 11:33pm: The dog also knows a bad guy when he sees and smells one, like when the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Transparency" is just another word for perception in the auto industry, and perceptions rule weather they are reality or not. Hiring a sales team that exudes transparency while possessing the ability to manage and recode a car buyers perception is the highest of quality in a salesman most dealerships are without. Add to this individual your "finer" bullet points and offer to pay him as lot boy and that dog won't hunt, well at least not for very long.

Comment by Evan Johannson on May 2, 2013 at 3:03pm: A good sense of humor seems to go pretty far in this business :)

Comment by Mr. Natural on May 2, 2013 at 3:02pm: Evan...Can you say that you laughed your butt off here?

Comment by Evan Johannson on May 2, 2013 at 2:53pm: Brilliant stuff. Truly germane. And I really like the direction Mark Dubis took it in comparing the infinite abilities of the canine to the innumerable uses and tools provided by a simple internet connection these days. This is all good stuff to keep in mind as we try to ever enliven and rejuvenate the ways in which we interact.

I also laughed my butt off reading this so thank you for that lol! :)

Comment by Mr. Natural on May 2, 2013 at 1:46pm: Thanks Mark...I never thought this post would elicit so many different takes. I love it. I'm takin' it viral!

Comment by Mr. Natural on May 2, 2013 at 1:42pm: Thanks for the diversification David, and the kind supportive words Bobby. I had a great time with this one. We have a tendency to get pretty serious with ourselves in our jobs, and it's nice to break it up sometimes.

I use the word Transparency all the time, and David you bring up some interesting optional definitions...Perhaps people don't think the same thing as I am trying to tell them sometimes. The word has a nice ring to it though.

This dog thing really has me going though...I'm gonna' keep working on it.

Comment by Mark Dubis on May 2, 2013 at 1:42pm: There is no doubt that everyone today has a better snifffer, and it's called the Internet. And, like any tool, it can be used for good or evil. It's up to the dealership and the customer how they will use it and what they will do with it. I advise dealers to leverage the web and its transparency to prove they value their customers and offer a great buying experience.

Think about what dogs want from us. They want attention, security, to know they are appreciated, and naturally they like treats.

Do our customers in the showroom deserve any less? I am not advising that you offer to rub the belly of the guy who just took a test drive, but offering a snack, cold or hot beverage, and you personal attention isn't too much to ask for. How about a simple straightforward sales process to encourage trust and build the relationship? How about using please and thank you during the interaction?

There are changes in the winds of auto retailing coming soon. Dealerships that do not adopt responsible, customer and employee friendly practices will be in for a rude awakenings down the road.

General Eric Shinseki, then Army Chief of Staff said it best:

"If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less."

Mark Dubis

Carfolks.com
Home of Neighbor Approved Dealers

Comment by David Ruggles on May 2, 2013 at 12:18pm: The way the business is trending a blind dog with a note in his mouth will replace sales people. I'd be happy if we could all agree on a universal definition of "transparency." To the consumer, "transparency" is knowing our triple net cost, including "trunk money." They then want to negotiate the margin. From a legal standpoint, "transparency" is full disclosure of all items we are legally obligated to provide. There is a great divide between the two definitions. The price of a vehicle still has to be negotiated. As always, the perception of the good deal has to be present for business to be done on both sides. It seems perception of transparency is the new negotiating strategy.