Do it on Purpose!!

Another part of relatedness and trust is the signals you send out about your
similarities (trustworthiness). This is real documented stuff. Pick up any book on
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). You can get even better relatedness
through matching the clients’ breathing, posture and speech tempo. You can
listen for cues about how they get information, which will ensure that yours goes
“in.” For instance when they are a slow talker and use a lot of feelings words,
make sure you use feelings in your descriptions. I mean physical feeling like
having them rub the leather and smell it, or run their hand down the door and
fender to feel the finish and body seams.

A visual person is bit quicker moving and you’ll see it in their clothes or jewelry or even
in the looks of their significant other. Men tend to be more visual than women,
generally speaking. They react better to seeing things in person, and to well painted
verbal pictures (“Man, can you picture everyone at the valet stand
watching this car pull up and seeing you and your date get out? What fun that
will be. Half the guys will secretly wish it was them pulling up.” Or, “Can you
see your kids’ faces when you pull up for the first time in this SUV? I can see
them running out of the house now, all excited. Those are the memories we carry
for life. Remember when your dad pulled up in a new car? What was it?”)

An auditory person needs to hear it. And it may take a few iterations to get it in. Because
it’s dangerous to think we have someone’s type “pegged,” it’s good to fold all of
these styles into our conversations. Later, during "the negotiation process" we’ll
revisit this.

Building rapport or relatedness is not defined as “getting along fine.” It’s, “I’d
have dinner with them. And they with me.”

(note: I have asked a few ask me why I focus so much on this with this "old school selling" when I am a vendor in the digital space (my job is: I partner with you in creating sales opportunities) and I should know that "today it's all about price and quoting through emails properly...." I only roll my eyes. There is a mammoth difference in closing ration and gross... YES GROSS that you can effect if you really want to know how to sell and practice it!)