What's your Val-You?

The reason why most people fail in sales is because they don't create value- not so much as in their product, but more so in themselves.

In his excellent book, (No More) Mediocre Me, Brigadier General John E. Michel writes, "Feeling valued by others is fundamental to our happiness and well-being."

In the rejection-infested business of sales, how do salespeople gain value from their customers? We gain value by not asking...

Salespeople don't ask for the sale. We're tireless in establishing trust and credibility; we'll work feverishly to ask the right questions, select the vehicle, and present our product based on our customers' needs, yet when it's time to ask for their business we back down because we want our customers to accept us; we want to be liked; truthfully we want to feel valued and the only way we think we can feel valued is to not hear our customers say the word NO. Every time a customer says NO, we feel less valued; we're less sure of our abilities, and less confident in the service that we provide. We'd rather tell ourselves NO than to risk hearing it from a customer. So we don't ask.

Our perception of value is all wrong because we place too much of an emphasis on results and less of an importance on the effort.

While it's true you are in results oriented business, you won't yield the right results if you don't invest the right amount of effort; and you won't put forth the right amount of effort if you haven't created the right value...in yourself.

You should be more internally driven and less externally motivated. Val-You is a state of mind.

The prefix VAL is Latin which means, "to be strong, to have worth." Your worth comes in the fact that you are strong enough to bravely show up every day and fail. (Outside of the sales profession who goes to work to fail every single day?) You are willing to invest thousands of hours in studying your product, your competitors', and your craft as well. You go to bed late at night weary from rejection yet have the strength to rise early with optimism. Strength of that magnitude can only be paid for with adversity and perseverance.

You set the price for what you're worth- nothing or no one else can- not your childhood nor your past; no abusive family member nor disrespectful customer. The value that you have placed on yourself is translated into how you think, speak, the manner in which you carry yourself, and the effort that you're willing to exert. Albeit little or much, the world will pay the price for the value that you have placed on yourself. Orison Marden said, "Personal value is the minting of one's own coin; one is taken at the worth he has put into himself."

So the next time you boldly ask a customer to buy and they say No, remember it's not that they don't value you- it's because they can't afford you.

I'll see you next time of the blacktop!

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Comment by Brian Bennington on July 15, 2014 at 11:37pm: Thanks for the explanation, Marsh, and yes, I now understand where you're coming from. It's a great "pump up" to protect the egos of those less experienced reps when they're confronted with a "No." As I've mentioned before, and this post dedicated to reps handling rejection in a positive way offers further proof, you really do show the signs of an excellent leader. And because I think you appreciate real leadership qualities, here's an interesting little snippet you might enjoy.

A favorite “leader” of mine was Mick Mannock, an English ace in WWI (1914 -1918, Germans/Austrians/Turks/etc. vs. English/French/USA in 1917/etc. predominately fought in France, with battles worldwide). After spending one+ years in 1914 in a Turkish prison where he was regularly tortured even though he was a civilian, he was released due to poor health and returned to England where he ended up in the Royal Flying Corps. Surprising, as he was nearly blind in one eye. A great flyer who hated Germans, he was recognized as an excellent tactician and flight leader from almost the beginning. The fact that I’d bet you have never heard of him demonstrates the first sign of a great leader in that he wasn’t in it for his own glory.

Anyway, what made him so notable to me was his concern for his new pilots. Keeping them alive wasn’t easy as the average pilot life expectancy in combat was less than three weeks. He’d coach his guys continuously and would sometimes zip in and shoot the gunner on a 2-seat German plane so his new pilots could come in and make the kill. He did it to build their confidence. He never kept score for himself, and many believe he was the greatest ace of the war, even besting the Red Baron. Tell me that isn’t leadership! Of note, finally resigned to the fact he wouldn’t survive the war, he was killed by ground fire in 1918 at the age of 31, extremely old for a fighter pilot then.

As to why I had trouble picking-up on the gist of your post, my sales background was completely devoid of any fear of rejection. It just never came up. There are a lot of reasons why, but I suppose learning and practicing the "mind control" aspects of selling was so exhilarating it overrode everything else. Honestly, it still does. It's a shame that the vast majority of reps don't quite get they are selling themselves to somebody nearly every day of their lives, and rejection should be recognized for what it is; a "course correction" reminder. The upside being that if they really understand "selling" is an art in itself, completely separate from a product or service, it will enhance every relationship they'll ever have, as every relationship periodically requires some selling.

Comment by Marsh Buice on July 15, 2014 at 5:16pm: Hi Brian, as sp we don't think highly enough of ourselves. We let the customer's No's define us - in a negative way. As the No's mount we lose our self-esteem and morale and begin to doubt our abilities. The value creation has to be within ourselves (internal) and less external (Yes/No).

If the customer says No, it's not that they don't value you it's because they can't afford you...[bc you have created so much internal value in yourself and your work ethic that a No is a drop in the ocean of opportunities.)

I hope this helps Brian. Thanks for the positive words my friend. (PS. Danny Benites rocks! Great dude)

Comment by Marsh Buice on July 15, 2014 at 4:52pm: David, thanks for checking out and commenting. I teach my kids that you'll get everything you never ask for :) Appreciate you sir.

Comment by Brian Bennington on July 15, 2014 at 2:23pm: Good morning, Reverend Buice. Don't know why this was posted on the 8th and I just received it today, but I immediately opened and read it, looking to again appreciate your "meat and potatoes" views from St. Charles. But, my read has prompted a couple of questions. In you first statement, do you mean sales people don't create their own value or that they concentrate too much on the value of their product/service and not enough on their own value? Like in too much selling of of their product/service and not enough selling of themselves?

Then, your statement that too much value is placed on results and not enough is placed on effort kind of flies in the face of today's society where the goal is almost always graded exclusively on results. Only exceptional managers like you understand the importance of recognizing effort as a vital step to improving results. Finally, your concluding observation that "the next time you boldly ask a customer to buy and they say 'no," remember it's not that they don't value you–it's because they can't afford you" is, I guess, to abstract for me to "get"?

(Note to Marsh: Do you know DE/ADM member and GM Danny Benites? His July 10th "Strong Leaders Serve" post reads a lot like your philosophies. I even mentioned you in my comments to him about it. (You're two solid "high wire walkers" in a tent full of clowns"!)

Comment by David Martin on July 15, 2014 at 2:17pm: As usual I loved your post. The part I like best is "You set the price for what you're worth......nor disrespectful customer". One of my favorite sayings is "If you don't ask, the answer is always No."