Can you be friends with your people and still manage properly?
I see managers that walk soft and carry a big stick. Then others manage by what seems to be power and fear. Can you really be a friend and at the same time get the job done?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Fran Taylor on
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I thought this would be a good topic because of a GM I just talked to. He said they will do what I want when I want, if not I will get someone who will. I know a lot of good managers and thought your comments will help those who are looking to improve. Thanks and best of luck.
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Permalink Reply by Stan Sher on
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You can be a manager and a friend. As a manager, it is important to know that the efforts of the people you are managing make your paycheck. It is important to be a strict manager and always mean business. It is also important to be liked by your people. If a manager needs to crack the whip and people are not very happy they should at least be able to understand that this is meant to be. They need to understand that the manager means well. Every team I have ever managed, I rarely had any turnover. In fact, I fired only two people in my whole career. I always took care of me team, showed them appreciation and was still on them all of the time. There needs to be a balance. I believe in treating people right and mentoring them. Managers are supposed to help people become successful.
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Right on Stan. Taking. care of the people is a major part. Thats leading by example some times. A GM doesn't have to do it all himself. Deligate the work is best some times. The biggest and important is to have things written down and clear enough that all understand what is expected. Then the accountability comes in.
If you treat your people with respect and acknowledge them for doing a good puts any manager at the top. Thank you Stan.
Stan Sher said:You can be a manager and a friend. As a manager, it is important to know that the efforts of the people you are managing make your paycheck. It is important to be a strict manager and always mean business. It is also important to be liked by your people. If a manager needs to crack the whip and people are not very happy they should at least be able to understand that this is meant to be. They need to understand that the manager means well. Every team I have ever managed, I rarely had any turnover. In fact, I fired only two people in my whole career. I always took care of me team, showed them appreciation and was still on them all of the time. There needs to be a balance. I believe in treating people right and mentoring them. Managers are supposed to help people become successful.
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Permalink Reply by Abe Hopper on
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Dr. W. Edwards Deming, PhD, who transformed the thinking of Don Petersen at the Ford Motor Company and transformed the entire Japanese automobile industry, taught us that for Total Quality Management to succeed you must first transform management thinking. "Drive out fear". Management by fear is counter- productive in the long term. It prevents workers from acting in the Dealership’s best interests. Deming was an advocate of utilizing intrinsic motivation. Motivation that comes from inside an individual rather than from outside management pressure. The motivation comes from the pleasure of doing a good job and the perk is the reward of recognition from others ... the manager. With this in mind ... Yes, my employees are my friends. Yes, my customers are my friends and Yes, my friends are my customers.
Fran Taylor said:Right on Stan. Taking. care of the people is a major part. Thats leading by example some times. A GM doesn't have to do it all himself. Deligate the work is best some times. The biggest and important is to have things written down and clear enough that all understand what is expected. Then the accountability comes in.
If you treat your people with respect and acknowledge them for doing a good puts any manager at the top. Thank you Stan.
Stan Sher said:You can be a manager and a friend. As a manager, it is important to know that the efforts of the people you are managing make your paycheck. It is important to be a strict manager and always mean business. It is also important to be liked by your people. If a manager needs to crack the whip and people are not very happy they should at least be able to understand that this is meant to be. They need to understand that the manager means well. Every team I have ever managed, I rarely had any turnover. In fact, I fired only two people in my whole career. I always took care of me team, showed them appreciation and was still on them all of the time. There needs to be a balance. I believe in treating people right and mentoring them. Managers are supposed to help people become successful.
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I'am truly impressed Mr Wilson and agree 100%. I can tell by the comments you have made that you are doing well. Thank you sir and best of luck.
Tom Wilson said:
I've been in management my whole career. The one thing I learned early on is that I have to manage within my personality. I'm the classic type A personality - driven to succeed and driven to do better tomorrow than I did today. That being said, I understand my personality and I'm comfortable living in here with myself.
In my decades of managing people, I've found that I can't manage people effectively and seek their friendship at the same time. My staff is my staff. I treat them cordially and with respect, but there has to be a line that doesn't get blurred or distorted when viewed thru a lens of friendship. I've never had a problem with turnover and have a list of people who would like to come to work for me if I ever have any openings.
By effectively managing, coaching, training and mentoring my "younger-in-position" staff, I'm growing the future of this industry with well trained ethical people who will continue to grow in this business. My future rests on their shoulders, so I give them the professional respect that they've earned and they understand that I'm their boss, not their friend.
Bringing friendship into a situation where you have to supervise and possibly discipline people clouds judgement and skews decision making. You don't need to be cold hearted, but by accepting the responsibility of being in management you also have accept the fact that you WILL have to make those hard personnel decisions from time to time.
In summation, after 35 years of personnel management and supervision - Management and friendship with subordinates doesn't mix.
Good topic, Fran.
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Permalink Reply by Edward Vossen on
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As a sales consultant for over 15 years at our facility, I have seen some 30+ managers come and go. Some 2-3 times.
I agree that trying to be friends does not work. I believe there has to be a distance and the manager must build the respect of his associates. One of the main things I have noticed is the lack of training. Especially in this fast changing world, doing business the old way doesn't work any more and constant training is even more important than ever.
( I guess by the words I use most of you guessed correctly that we were a Saturn "facility" for all but 1 year of my time.)
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Mr Vossen and others. I agree with some of the old school doesn't work. Just how far do you go back to be old school. Ten , twenty or more years Lets through out the computers. Even though they maybe new to some they have been around for 30 plus years. Some of the old school ways are still the best. Like computers we must add to what we have with some old school to be at the top.
The old school training is still the best. Now the new sales reps are lucky to get a full week of real training. I don't mean go look at this video and fall to sleep. Hands on training for a solid two weeks at least.
By a manager training this way the sales reps respect them more and will follow much easier than with little training. The sales reps actually get to know the manager and know what is expected. By helping the salesmen by showing makes it easier on everyone and you can have a friendly relationship with them as well. Thank you sir.
Edward Vossen said:As a sales consultant for over 15 years at our facility, I have seen some 30+ managers come and go. Some 2-3 times.
I agree that trying to be friends does not work. I believe there has to be a distance and the manager must build the respect of his associates. One of the main things I have noticed is the lack of training. Especially in this fast changing world, doing business the old way doesn't work any more and constant training is even more important than ever.
( I guess by the words I use most of you guessed correctly that we were a Saturn "facility" for all but 1 year of my time.)
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